I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
