Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
