Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
