Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
