If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
