i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
