Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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