I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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