Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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