It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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