I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
