I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
