Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The best revenge is premature balding
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
