She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
