Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
