And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dignity is for republicans.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
