Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
