Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
