Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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