Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
