so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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