Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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