If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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