No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
