Pants 0. Shit 1.
I've blown a few things in my day
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
