You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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