Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
