last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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