question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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