Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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