Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
