You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
