Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
