Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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