I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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