That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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