bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
