I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
