What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am midnight drunk by noon
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
