a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
