i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Someone shit on the floor
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
