This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
