I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
