YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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