Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
try to milk me bitch
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
