As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
