I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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