3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
