i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
