I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
