I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
